Gigolo Gifts

Unemployed gigolo...

"Mrs Hamilton Creighton the third, and gigolo."

Zombie standup

Cariactures

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

'The doctors and nurses all said he was the heaviest newborn they'd ever seen.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Children's Entertainer

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Bishop has his robes stuck in his pants.

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

'Hey, if you use your imagination a little, doesn't that group of people look like a gathering cumulus?'

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

Fat Kid 2- Plays with some Blue tac (colour)

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."