Gift Of The Gab Guru Gifts

That guy? That's Neil. He's in sales.

Beach con-man.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Santa called but you were out!

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Regifts of the Magi

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

Valentines Day truck

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Special Delivery!'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

Honey badger do care.

Wisdom for dummies