Gift Of The Gab Guru Pillows

That guy? That's Neil. He's in sales.

Beach con-man.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Santa called but you were out!

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Regifts of the Magi

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

Valentines Day truck

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Special Delivery!'

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

Honey badger do care.

Wisdom for dummies

'I predict they go with an insanity defense.'