Gift Of Gab Enthusiasts Gifts

'Best sales rep I've ever come across!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

The magic of April Fools' morning.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"You must see someone about your problem."

'Special Delivery!'

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

The Fart Side

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."