Gibberish Guru Gifts

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

Candid Camera store.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'Sorry, no credit, the only free spirit in here is my barmaid.'

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

"I don't think a hospital video consultation requires 'motivation'."

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

Fish building a bomb to save themselves.

'Last arrests at the bar please...!'

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."

'Serving pyranose from his buskin left some paly.'

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

"Gangs Of Nude Beach"

My Year Searching For a Gimmicky Stunt to Base a Book On.

"Excruciating boredom, my son, is the beginning of wisdom."

Editor vs Writer.

'The blasty libeccio fleyed the keitloa.'

"I'm a lovebird Monica. If you wanted passion you should have married a passionbird!"

'You know, Miss, if you ever want to have an out-of-body, experience, I'll be glad to keep an eye on it for you!'

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

Nobody Died of the Corona Virus Think Logically!

"You can have your old job back if you can find it."