Gibberish Guru Gifts

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

Candid Camera store.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Ye Editor. It’s a little downbeat, Will. How about making it a comedy and changing the name from "Othello" to "The Moor, The Marry-er"?

'Do we want to apply for a credit card that plays the song 'Money Makes The World Go Around' every time it is swiped?'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

'Sorry, no credit, the only free spirit in here is my barmaid.'

"I don't think a hospital video consultation requires 'motivation'."

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

"Muroski, I said we need a couple more POKER players..."

Fish building a bomb to save themselves.

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."

'Last arrests at the bar please...!'

"Gangs Of Nude Beach"

'Serving pyranose from his buskin left some paly.'

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

"Excruciating boredom, my son, is the beginning of wisdom."

My Year Searching For a Gimmicky Stunt to Base a Book On.

Editor vs Writer.

'The grammar in your report is terrible!'

'The meaning of life? Let me Google that for you.'

'The blasty libeccio fleyed the keitloa.'

'You know, Miss, if you ever want to have an out-of-body, experience, I'll be glad to keep an eye on it for you!'

Last night in a bar I said to a woman, "I can't get no satisfaction." I figure if it worked for Mick Jagger, it might work for me. Did it get you any satisfaction? It got me a lecture on grammar.

Nobody Died of the Corona Virus Think Logically!

"I'm a lovebird Monica. If you wanted passion you should have married a passionbird!"

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

"You can have your old job back if you can find it."