Gibberish Enthusiast Gifts

'The blasty libeccio fleyed the keitloa.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Support the Ex-Troops

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Torturing the English Language

Pretty Flowers

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

The height of fashion in 1796

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

reincarnated worm...

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Punt Cake

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me