Gibberish Enthusiast T-Shirts

'The blasty libeccio fleyed the keitloa.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

The height of fashion in 1796

reincarnated worm...

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Punt Cake

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'