Gift-giving Blunder Pillows

'I guess a facial hair removal kit isn't a good anniversary present.'

"Gift"

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Bald man spraying his head with hairspray

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

An Anarchist's Christmas

"Mom told me I can't give you any more tools for Father's Day, Birthday or Christmas."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

The three wise cats were bearing slightly less practical gifts.

'It was a strange Christmas this year - Everybody gave me breath mints.'

'Get her a teddy bear I said, not a bear in a teddy!'

'I'm lousy at picking out gifts. Last year I gave her money, which was great until the dye-pack exploded.'

"Happy birthday!"

'I put hopeless at Christmas shopping into a search engine and your name came up!'

'-with every bottle comes our free Jujitsu course!'

"My wife's bra size? I don't know, about like this I guess."

Caution! Big Butt Ahead and I Just Ate Beans!

"Must you walk around in your underwear? -- My wife and KIDS are in here, for crying out loud!"

'Didn't you buy me exactly the same book for my birthday last year?' 'Yes I did... I hope you'll read it this year...'

"No Dad! I said I wanted Minecraft!"

Snow Stab.

"I got a watch of sorts when I retired...they gave me the old security camera I sat beneath for 20 years."

Never getting the right present phobia: 'I know there's nothing in it. You have everything.'

'What did you get him?'

Elf Care Reform.

'In caes it isn't quite what you wanted,I've kept the receipt...!!!'

'Actually, no-one's retiring or getting married this week - it's just that I can't kick the habit.'

'The party at school was awful! -- The teacher didn't like the Valentine underwear I got for her.'

'I need some help finding the perfect gift for that not so perfect someone.'

Christmas present.

"Acme pogo stick"

"Surprise! It's my birthday."