Bad Present-buyers Pillows

'In caes it isn't quite what you wanted,I've kept the receipt...!!!'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

An Anarchist's Christmas

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

'I know yesterday was your birthday, but you're so hard to shop for.'

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

The three wise cats were bearing slightly less practical gifts.

'Two idiots don't make a good gift!'

'I guess a facial hair removal kit isn't a good anniversary present.'

'It was a strange Christmas this year - Everybody gave me breath mints.'

'I didn't have time to shop this year so it's Swan-mart gift cards for everyone.'

'Bad news...Santa's a cow!'

"My wife's bra size? I don't know, about like this I guess."

'I'm lousy at picking out gifts. Last year I gave her money, which was great until the dye-pack exploded.'

'I put hopeless at Christmas shopping into a search engine and your name came up!'

Christmas Sale Special

"No Dad! I said I wanted Minecraft!"

Snow Stab.

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

Never getting the right present phobia: 'I know there's nothing in it. You have everything.'

Elf Care Reform.

'I need some help finding the perfect gift for that not so perfect someone.'

"Guys, seriously, some myrrh? Next time let's not wait till the last minute as usual to make gifts!"

'The party at school was awful! -- The teacher didn't like the Valentine underwear I got for her.'

'I'm feeling a bit cynical this year. Just bring me cash.'

101 uses of a dead cat: signpost

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring, except a mouse ...

"They ran out of bouquets."

'Why isn't he wearing the tie I bought him for Christmas?'

Jack's Cards - When you only care enough to make a gesture.

"Do you remember the old days when you'd slog your heart out for 40 years and then be put out to grass with a watch and a paltry pension?"