Misunderstood Gift Receivers Pillows

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"It is my place!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Tipping Pain Chart

I didn't realize our pitch had such a lovely view...

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

It's the thought that counts!

"Don't look him in the mouth! Don't look him in the mouuuthhh!!"

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

"When I said I wanted a pet, I meant a dog."

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

'Uh oh! Santa brought the kids a pet cat!'

"...Well, where was he when I needed the red Power Ranger?"

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

'I know yesterday was your birthday, but you're so hard to shop for.'

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

Vampire picking up his blood delivery (Type O, Type A, and Type B).

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling

Christmas package.

'Uh oh, looks like we've got weekend guests.'

Cats and Gift Bags

'. . . we should never have asked mummy what she really wanted for mother's day.'