Misunderstood Gift Receivers Pillows

"No Dad! I said I wanted Minecraft!"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"It is my place!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Tipping Pain Chart

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

I didn't realize our pitch had such a lovely view...

It's the thought that counts!

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

"Don't look him in the mouth! Don't look him in the mouuuthhh!!"

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

"I'm a rock? Wow. Um... thanks. But all the cool kids have sticks now!"

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

"When I said I wanted a pet, I meant a dog."

An Anarchist's Christmas

"...Well, where was he when I needed the red Power Ranger?"

"Since when did they start putting perfume in aerosol cans?"

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

'Uh oh! Santa brought the kids a pet cat!'

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

'I know yesterday was your birthday, but you're so hard to shop for.'

'Uh oh, looks like we've got weekend guests.'

'Two idiots don't make a good gift!'

Vampire picking up his blood delivery (Type O, Type A, and Type B).

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

"For Christmas you got me a roll of wrapping paper? And you wrapped it?"

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling

Christmas package.

'. . . we should never have asked mummy what she really wanted for mother's day.'