Gift-giving Appreciator Pillows

'A contribution to me in a friend's name would make a very nice Christmas gift, pal.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

CEO.

Rent a Room With Hot Water

-"What has this got to do with communication?" -"It's my invention...the hand smiley."

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"Read the card! Read the card!"

The Re-Giving Tree

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

Christmas Dwarves

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

'Small acts of kindness, officer, can go a long way toward making this world a better place.'

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Sue Perkins

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Viking with bike handlebars on helmet.

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

'Look what my son gave me!'

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

Sweet potatoes...

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

"That's the first time I've heard 'My Way' played on a harp."

"One large with cheese, pepperoni and grass clippings."

Cover Design to 'The Houses of Sin' by Vincent O'Sullivan

'It's not always the Catholics who seem the most disappointed.'