Gift Bag Lover Pillows

"Since when did we have to give away a swag bag to get people to come to Parents' Night?"

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

King Kongs first christmas

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

CEO.

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

It bag and no knickers!

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Read the card! Read the card!"

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'I am not checking this because it's my purse.'

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

Hissy-fits for sale.

The Fart Side

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"Which free tote goes best?"

"Any bag that can hold all my things becomes too heavy to carry."

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'Methane Happens.'