Big Gift Lover Pillows

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

King Kongs first christmas

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'We have three minutes left.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Diner

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Fly fishing.

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

High speed cinder block

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Will you be wanting this?'

CEO.

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'What do you mean these aren't donut holes'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

Ball Pool Peril

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

Beware of Everything

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'