Getting A Stair Lift Gifts

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Ski lift mobile

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Going Down?

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Thumbing a Lift.

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

Elevator charge $1.00.

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

The guy who got in on the ground floor

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

A Fork-lift.

"This thing is so slow!"

'Going up?'

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

Dead Scientists Climbs DNA Stairway to Heaven.

Balloon ski lift

"Do we look like we're going up?"

"It was one of the things they kept after selling the ski resort."

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

Mountain escalator.

Elevator. Up, down and dirty.

'You can't use the elevator as guestroom!'

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'