Germ-conscious Friend Gifts

"...I'd like my piece of cake removed before the birthday boy blows his germs all over it."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

'Gesundheit.'

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

How to win friends and Influenza People.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

"I think I'm coming down with something."

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

Bacteria fame at last.

'Look - it's SUPERBUG!'

'Biggest damn virus I've ever seen!'

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

I hadn't seen that jerk in years - then the anti-vaxxers showed up, and now I see him everywhere.

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

Institute of Infectious Diseases

"Bless you!"

Center for disease control - I'd like you to meet Dr. Blumenkraft, he's our top mucous man

"Don't give him air- he's anaerobic!"

Typical Viral Coversation - "So many people so little time."

"Femember, if they catch you and put you in a vaccine, you're working for the enemy."

Global Thermostat - Do Not Adjust.

'Looks like a virus.'

'Did you ever have a feeling you're being watched?'

"Biggest damn virus I've ever seen."

"The Catch of the Day is the chef's cold."