Allergy-aware Friend Gifts

'Strawberries give me the hives. How about an apple?'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

The Nihilist Deli.

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

An allergist sneezing

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"The tests show you're lactose intolerant."

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"I think I'm allergic to peanuts."

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

Tunnel of Anxiety

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

'Gesundheit'

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

'I'm allergic to sand.'

'Is this communion wafer gluten free?'

House of parliament - May contain nuts.

"This was supposed to be 'Gluten-Free Comedy Night.' Which means no wheat jokes."

"Yeah, and what's it to you if I am gluten free?"

"I'm allergic to wool. . !"

Warning - may contain nuts.

"What's this? A hypoallergenic hair?"