Allergy-aware Friend Pillows

'Strawberries give me the hives. How about an apple?'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

The Nihilist Deli.

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

An allergist sneezing

"The tests show you're lactose intolerant."

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

Tunnel of Anxiety

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

'Gesundheit'

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

'I'm allergic to sand.'

"Yeah, and what's it to you if I am gluten free?"

House of parliament - May contain nuts.

'Is this communion wafer gluten free?'

"This was supposed to be 'Gluten-Free Comedy Night.' Which means no wheat jokes."

Warning - may contain nuts.

"I'm allergic to wool. . !"

"I've been wanting you two to meet. You both have the same seasonal allergies."

"What's this? A hypoallergenic hair?"