Allergy Amusing Aficionado Gifts

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

An allergist sneezing

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"The tests came back positive. You're H2O intolerant."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

Asthma cats

That's right: Not only are we 'Man's best friend', but a lot of people are allergic to cats...

"I only grown them because her mother's allergic to them."

"Here's Pollen!"

"Did you put garlic in the pasta?"

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

"Oh my god, apple pox!"

'I'm allergic to sand.'

'Strawberries give me the hives. How about an apple?'

'Tony is allergic to the cat.'

I like spring okay, except for the mammoths shedding.

"Adam, I think I must be allergic to that fruit we ate back in the garden!"

The Food Free Food Aisle

"Dad got tired of reading those scare stories - now he sits there all day, photosynthesizes, and grows his own!"

"I've been wanting you two to meet. You both have the same seasonal allergies."

"Well, I've got his test results. . . I'm afraid he's allergic to dairy!"

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

"This is a fine time to discover you have an egg allergy, Fiona!"

Hay Fever Preventives.

'It's worse than I thought, you've got a peanut allergy.'

'Well, I don't know how you managed to mistake poison ivy for a fig leaf!'

'Doctor, I think I have a onion allergy.'

Bless You!