Geriatric Humor Fan Pillows

"No, kids, Grandma isn't 'way older' than these trees."

"Why bother?"

Why Cows Leave Home

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

You can't get what up

Birthday To-Do List

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Bubbie Selfies

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"We're just pleased he can still get into the Christmas spirit."

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'

'You are always living in the past!'

'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'

"It's the Florida kid."

"She's definitely less plumpy."

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"This is not exactly how I envisioned watching the grass grow in my retirement."

'Your diary? How come you didn't just blog it way back then?'

"I used to live each dray to the fullest. Now I'm satisfied with every other Tuesday."

Old fly...retirement home.

False teeth duel.

Old Men on Rockers.

"Kick me"

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'