Old Age Humor Fan Pillows

You can't get what up

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Why bother?"

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Birthday To-Do List

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

'You are always living in the past!'

Pregnant vs. Old.

A Little Mistake.

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

Servant girls wishing to leave because the soldiers have moved from Knightsbridge.

"She's definitely less plumpy."

Some gentlemen preparing for a hunt