Old Age Humor Fan Pillows

You can't get what up

"Why bother?"

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Birthday To-Do List

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

A senior moment.

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

David Blaine, Age 60

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

"Phew! You're ripe! What's that brown spot?"

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

OLD COMEDY vs. NEW COMEDY

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

'You are always living in the past!'

Pregnant vs. Old.

A Little Mistake.

Servant girls wishing to leave because the soldiers have moved from Knightsbridge.

Some gentlemen preparing for a hunt

"She's definitely less plumpy."

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"