Elderly Comedy Fan Pillows

Fourth age club annual outing

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"Why bother?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

You can't get what up

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Birthday To-Do List

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

Moon Line UP

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

Charles Darwin, stand-up comic

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

Tessa

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

'You are always living in the past!'

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."

'Over a hundred channels and nothing to watch!'

"She's definitely less plumpy."