Elderly Comedy Fan Gifts

Fourth age club annual outing

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"Why bother?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

You can't get what up

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Birthday To-Do List

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

Moon Line UP

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

Charles Darwin, stand-up comic

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"When was this license issued?"

"Phew! You're ripe! What's that brown spot?"

OLD COMEDY vs. NEW COMEDY

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

Tessa

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'

'You are always living in the past!'

The Wi-Fi of Bath.

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."