Gerbil Lover T-Shirts

I've been wanting to introduce you to Herbert for months. I didn't want to scare you. Don't be silly. So what if I've discovered my girlfriend has secretly raised a talking gerbil she pampers, gives back rubs to, and debates international politics with. What's so strange about that? So you're good with it. Get me Dr. Phil.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Join me in a Martini?

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

You're the botanicals in my gin

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

"That's his answer to everything!"

Ginspiration!

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

'That's my spirit guide.'

Quick gin. Sloe gin

I feel so blindsided. Laurel has a talking pet gerbil named Herbert. So? She wants to create a little family - the two of us, Herbert and Mortkey. On day, we're just two young lovers dating. The next: Boom! I'm cleaning Herbert's litter box.

'With school, sports and music lessons, I don't get to spend much quality time with my gerbil.'

Typical Viral Coversation - "So many people so little time."

"Hello Cleveland! I have to say, never thought I'd have a Netflix special seeing as Gerbils only live about 3 to 4 years!"

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

'Let's see you reverse this, Switherton!'

"It's easy, Santa. Swipe left for naughty and right for nice."

"Going cold turkey might be too much for him . . . Let him watch reruns of the 1977 centenary test in Melbourne until the lockdown is over!"

'Our son might be 'Lord Greystoke' and all now, but he still writes to us when he needs advice...'

'Serving pyranose from his buskin left some paly.'

'I'm the toothpaste genie offering you a free dental plan!'

'We can't offer you the satisfaction of a gratifying career, but how does a paid week off and dental sound?'

'...and once again we have interruption of play caused by movement behind the bowler's arm.'

Thank you, Thank you... One quick announcement - The owner of a large orange gourd - Please move your vehicle - You're parked on a loading zone.

'No No Colin! - we don't wrap Gerbils!'

In a hammock with a gin and tonic on a summers day

#Elfies

'Me? I'm trying to stay one step ahead of white corpuscles and antibiotics.'

'Gin and tonic please, with the gin having the majority shareholding.'