Gerbil Giggler T-Shirts

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Clown God

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Hardy Annuals

Not you. Your hair.

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Yard Sale

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"What are you in for?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'