Gentle Viking Gifts

"Some of the guys are worried about your commitment to the whole marauding barbarian thing."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

A vampire in a canoe.

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'I miss the good old days!'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

"But I use all of them!"

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"Ramming Speed!"

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

Gaah! You sank my longship!

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."

Really Early Vikings

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

"So that's five for bailing, and three for patching. If there are no objections, the chair will now hear arguments."

"Run for your lives! It's the full 'Ring' cycle!!"

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Historic Danish man using his helmet as a trumpet.