Gentle Viking Gifts

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

A vampire in a canoe.

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'I miss the good old days!'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"But I use all of them!"

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"Ramming Speed!"

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."

Really Early Vikings

"So that's five for bailing, and three for patching. If there are no objections, the chair will now hear arguments."

"Run for your lives! It's the full 'Ring' cycle!!"

Historic Danish man using his helmet as a trumpet.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"