Kitchen Viking Gifts

'My freezer's on the blink again.'

Counting ribs

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Too much cilantro

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

Salt and Pepper

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

The Perfect Foil

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'I miss the good old days!'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

"But I use all of them!"

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'