Kitchen Viking T-Shirts

'My freezer's on the blink again.'

Counting ribs

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"That's it. We’re toast."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Too much cilantro

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

Salt and Pepper

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

The Perfect Foil

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'I miss the good old days!'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"But I use all of them!"

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'