Kitchen Avenger T-Shirts

'Friday morning is no good for me- I'll be settling someone's hash!'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Party time.

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

I made you a cake!

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

The Inexperienced Cook

A butcher and his apprentice.

Time for pancakes!

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Summer Holiday activities the whole family will love.

'I don't care what the timer says - my nose says they're done.'

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

Egg Surprise

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

But I followed the recipe exactly.

'The good news is I invented fire today. The bad news is I burned dinner.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

Not a Creature was Stirring

Eating raw cake mix.

Please pass the fire extinguisher.

April 12,1989: The last day Ryan ever ate pancakes. 'I ran out of pancake mix so I fried up patties of my facial cream.'

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

'Surprise!... guess what we're making?'

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'