Genie Wishers Pillows

Laundromat Genie. For freeing me, I will grant you three washes!

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

'Before I grant you your wish you have to fill out an environmental statement.'

"Instead of wishes, I got you a gift card."

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

Genie Barbecue.

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

No, we don't serve rubbing alcohol.

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

"Oh, Genie. I'm ready to make my final wish now."

"Miss Robinson, do I need any wishes?"

'Dang.'

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

"There'll e no wishes for you - you rubbed me the wrong way."

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

What do you wish for next year?

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

Bank as a money tree

'There is no million dollar inheritance, just a lottery ticket for each of you.'

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."