Genie Lovers Pillows

"I can grant you any wish you desire except for making sure the ice cream machine always works at McDonald's."

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

Sighting of the elusive Bigpaw

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"Instead of wishes, I got you a gift card."

Genie Barbecue.

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

"Do you believe in Bigfoot?"

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'