Genetic Modification Enthusiast Gifts

'I have come across requests for a sex change before, but you're the first species change,'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

A day at the transgenic races

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"I've been genetically modified!"

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

Gene Therapy

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

'The future of medicine' "It's genomics." "I'd say proteins." "Same as always: economics."

'He's got your tattoos.'

DNA Xmas.

Genetic Manipulation

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

Baldness Facts

'You may share 85% of your genetic material with him, but I share 5% tops.'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

Some genetically engineered pig

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

DNA Lab. I spliced bee DNA into a dam-building rodent

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

Brian works in stem cell research

An inbred poodle.

Mother: 'He has your eyes.'