Geese Enthusiast Gifts

"Instead of mating for life, why can't we just be a flock with benefits?"

City Zoo: Day Care

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

A mother and baby elephant

'You know too much!'

Duck Hunt

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

Canada Goose Jackets

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Spring Training

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'