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Closed Thursdays.

Cat statues on entrance gate

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

Truth In Education

Odd Angles, a monthly strip on coarse angling

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Sale: All Doors Massively Reduced!

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

"Overruled!"

The Great Out-doors

"I want you to call that idiot you hired to build our garage...he made it too small for our car!"

'I used to give directions by naming all the pubs along the route - I'm as lost as you are now!'

Heavenly Take Out

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

Must you be so judgmental?

'I realize that hearsay evidence isn't admissible by the court, Your Honor, but you're going to love this!'

Surprised witness

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

Judge Duels

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

"Never mind honey, I found the garage door opener."

"Don't worry about the virus. Of course, you may approach the bench."

Why are you sniffing my gavel, counselor? I love the smell of justice in the morning.

'Excuse me, but I've always wanted to do this.'

Why are you constantly asking to approach the bench? My psychiatrist says I suffer from gavel envy.

'Have you seen pictures of those redwood trees with holes big enough for cars to drive through?'

Bunker And Dinker - Ambulance Chasers

'Poor Oog -- he invented the door, and locked himself out of his cave.'