Heavenly Gate Enthusiast T-Shirts

"We weren't expecting you so soon...."

Cat statues on entrance gate

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Closed Thursdays.

Saint Peter reviews a man's sins.

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

Heavenly Take Out

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Heaven Has VIP

"THIS is the cup of a Carpenter."

'You used foul and offensive language when addressing your computer. Well....we've all done that.'

"Yes, I suppose I do believe there's a big kennel in the sky."

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

"Don't you have to read me my rights first?"

"For a while I was worried. I was afraid you wouldn't need locks up here."

Grandmother holding 'Grandson' sign outside school

Dog Heaven

"I loved my job. That's gotta count for something."

'Don't worry -- that's just George Carlin.'

'Still polishing it? You're just too good to be true. What do you do with the brownie points up here?'

'Am I glad to see you.. I'm TIRED of playing Solitaire.'

Gates of heaven with bouncers

'Ah Mr Tom Champzeigne, let me see if you are one of our lucky winners.'

"Stop that row!"

Heavens gate 'Please enter, Do not fear to tread'

"I know, 'You can't take it with you'—but we make exceptions for favorite toys."

Passport to eternity

"Private property." "Warning. We don’t forgive those who trespass against us."

Man sees CCTV camera at gates to heaven

"No! Bless you!"

'This is an authentic Valentine -- I got it from Saint Valentine!'

Angel with you are here sign.

"I can explain everything!"

A Pearly-Gated Community.