Gastronomy Goof Gifts

"Your food will be out as soon as we clean up from the chef's little bout with food poisoning."

Get crazy once in a while

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"I hate this time of year."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

'The special today is scraps.'

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

The Family Joules: Part 13

Man is preparing pizza by the slice.

Bob's lazy eye was getting worse - staying home, lying in bed and watching soaps all day.

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

'More Christmas anyone?'

A choice of sandwiches

"Something this big."

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

Blades of grass watching horror movie of lawnmower cutting grass.

... Harold at the stomach pump.

'Why the free meal?'

"Is the Black Cherry Vanilla Beer Coolie any good? That depends on your lack of taste."

Sharks Eating Humans at Seaside Restaurants

For Your Dining Pleasure

'Molly here would like your immediate apology for the substandard service and wilty lettuce on her BLT!'