Beach Goof Gifts

Sharks Eating Humans at Seaside Restaurants

Get crazy once in a while

"I hate this time of year."

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

Hole in forty-seven.

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

Not at all O.K. Corral

'It's a variation of the South Beach diet -- we bury you in the sand till you lose fifty pounds.'

"Not exactly a snowman!"

'Donald! You're wearing your thong back to front!'

Lifeguard... Lifetime funds manager

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

'There's nothing to beat a real seaside holiday is there?'

Bob's lazy eye was getting worse - staying home, lying in bed and watching soaps all day.

"Trevor's nose is running."

Cuckoo Clock Dentistry

A choice of sandwiches

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'I hope you replace your divots!'

Danger ! - slowsand...

'You don't expect me to play volleyball without a sports bra, do you?'

'Hey, I understand your frustration, OK? But if I didn't see it happen, I can't call it.'

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."

A lifeguard whale underwater fails to notice that a whale has beached himself on a nearby beach.

Wanted - Mug Shot Photographer

Gourmet Whoop-Ass.

"What the hell is going on here? That pebble wasn't there yesterday!"

"Even on vacation, thanks to drones, I can get to do a little part-time bombing."

"Bummer."