Beach Goof Gifts

Sharks Eating Humans at Seaside Restaurants

Get crazy once in a while

"I hate this time of year."

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

Hole in forty-seven.

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

'It's a variation of the South Beach diet -- we bury you in the sand till you lose fifty pounds.'

'Donald! You're wearing your thong back to front!'

"Not exactly a snowman!"

Not at all O.K. Corral

Lifeguard... Lifetime funds manager

Cuckoo Clock Dentistry

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

'There's nothing to beat a real seaside holiday is there?'

"Trevor's nose is running."

Bob's lazy eye was getting worse - staying home, lying in bed and watching soaps all day.

A choice of sandwiches

Blades of grass watching horror movie of lawnmower cutting grass.

Danger ! - slowsand...

'I hope you replace your divots!'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Your food will be out as soon as we clean up from the chef's little bout with food poisoning."

'You don't expect me to play volleyball without a sports bra, do you?'

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."

'Hey, I understand your frustration, OK? But if I didn't see it happen, I can't call it.'

Gourmet Whoop-Ass.

A lifeguard whale underwater fails to notice that a whale has beached himself on a nearby beach.

Wanted - Mug Shot Photographer

"What the hell is going on here? That pebble wasn't there yesterday!"

Stop horsing around, you guys. Focus!

"Even on vacation, thanks to drones, I can get to do a little part-time bombing."