Goofy Gastronome Gifts

A Respite Between Courses

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

"They're marinated in hot water for six hours."

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Fuels paradise.

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

A woman looks at the menu posted in the front window of a restaurant; a nearby sign reads "Free gluten".

Christmas canape?

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'

"Something this big."

A choice of sandwiches

'A table near the food, please.'

Joe's Weird and Goofy Travel: 'I want to walk backward across China and Tibet.'

"Your food will be out as soon as we clean up from the chef's little bout with food poisoning."

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'

... Harold at the stomach pump.

'Why the free meal?'

The Full Mountie!

All you can eat. . . pizza.

For Your Dining Pleasure

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'