Gastronomy Goof Pillows

Get crazy once in a while

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

'The special today is scraps.'

Man is preparing pizza by the slice.

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

Bob's lazy eye was getting worse - staying home, lying in bed and watching soaps all day.

A choice of sandwiches

"Something this big."

'More Christmas anyone?'

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

... Harold at the stomach pump.

'Why the free meal?'

"Is the Black Cherry Vanilla Beer Coolie any good? That depends on your lack of taste."

Sharks Eating Humans at Seaside Restaurants

For Your Dining Pleasure

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."