Grocery Goof Admirer Pillows

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Witches Checkout.

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Mouse shopping after hours

Eye of Newt Helper

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

'The special today is scraps.'

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

Man is preparing pizza by the slice.

The Creature of the Black Legume

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

'More Christmas anyone?'

A choice of sandwiches

9 items or less at the gates of heaven

Meats

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

'We're out of peanut butter.'

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

"Is the Black Cherry Vanilla Beer Coolie any good? That depends on your lack of taste."

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

'Now let's see...We need fodder...'

Kevin's concerns over horsemeat in the beefburgers evaporated when he passed the frozen fish cabinet.

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.