Foodie Fuss Gifts

Servant leaving employment because he claims not to have enough butcher's meat

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

"More?"

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

'My French is not so good.'

"For regurgitated food, it's great, but the presentation..."

'Do you, Freddie Finicky, promise to eat all your dinners up?'

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

Size differences aside...it's that cheesy 'manufactured' smile that makes it so easy to pick a fruit fly on a GM diet!!

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

Smorgasborg

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"Your food will be out as soon as we clean up from the chef's little bout with food poisoning."

'I'm looking for the perfect coffee to pair with a toaster strudel & a banana.'

A man and a woman on a date have a fish head and tail for dinner.

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

Please, one big slice of blueberry pie. i need it. I've worked 10 hours today with no break. The slightest thing could set me off. The slightest, slightest thing. In the scheme of things, being out of pie is less than slight. Commence weeping.

Frank, I got the results from the sample I had analyzed to determine my genetic makeup. That's odd. It's says you're a mixture of French Toast, Canadian Bacon, some Russian dressing along with some Swedish Meatballs and a bit of Irish Coffee. You must have swabbed the front of your shirt rather than the inside of your cheek. Oops, add a little German Chocolate Cake to the mix!

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Molly here would like your immediate apology for the substandard service and wilty lettuce on her BLT!'

"But how do you know my sprouts aren't contaminated with novichok?"

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'