Gastronaut T-Shirts

Fuels paradise.

Counting ribs

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

Holiday Supplies

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Platter confusion.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

"Would you like the Death by Chocolate, Cheesecake, Brownie, Fudge, or just peacefully while you sleep?"

Picasso

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Decaying corpse

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

'listen - it's haute cuisine, coming up the river from New Orleans.'

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'