Gastric Adventurer T-Shirts

'A table near the wine steward, please.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Before/After

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Garlic Free Zone.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Holiday Supplies

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

I wish I'd had the review.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

I made you a cake!

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

Platter confusion.

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"