Comic Gastronaut T-Shirts

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'I brew it myself.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

Haute Cuisine Meets Low Couture

The mushroom pickers

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Fuels paradise.

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

"What will change my life?"

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

That was 16 items.

Holy Pizza

House of Beans.

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'

Christmas canape?

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'