Comic Gastronaut T-Shirts

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'I brew it myself.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

Fuels paradise.

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

The mushroom pickers

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"What will change my life?"

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

Holy Pizza

That was 16 items.

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'

Christmas canape?

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

House of Beans.

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

Man eating a bad oyster