Jovial Gastronaut T-Shirts

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Growth Charts

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

"The trees are laughing at us."

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Clown Wedding with Rake

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

Fuels paradise.

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

Hot Cross Bun

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"Hey! He must be watering down the beer.This is our fifth pint and we're still not talking rubbish."

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"That's the secret to a happy marriage. We both love the same things."

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

Planting Bulbs.

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."