Jovial Scientist T-Shirts

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Candid Camera store.

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'The Saxon King' pub

"Police? My son and his friends were playing, building a moon rocket. . . I believe that they actually blasted off!"

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"Dinosaurs are cool!"

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'Ever since you told your son he has blue blood, he's been telling everyone he's a Martian.'

Child with a junior chemistry set in the complaints department.

'I can explain - I'm doing a school project on the breaking-point of glass . . .'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"Since it's cold outside, I thought it was only logical that I build my snow fort inside. The laws of science disagree."

Invisible Man Kit

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

'I'm taking static electricity for share and tell.'

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Off the wall legal advisor.

"Gracie! How could you? Do you know what little girls are made of?"

Mooning Moon

Going Shopping Together.

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

"Tell me more about these abandonment issues."

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

To an observer approaching the speed of light, Einstein and his surroundings appear to be tall and thin.