Gastronomer T-Shirts

"They're marinated in hot water for six hours."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

La Table

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

View to the Future

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'