Gourmet Gastronome T-Shirts

"Prosecco - the bottled beer of sparkling wine."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Too much cilantro

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Main Types of Cheese

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"