Gourmet Gastronome T-Shirts

"Prosecco - the bottled beer of sparkling wine."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Too much cilantro

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

The Main Types of Cheese

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop