Gastronomer Gifts

"They're marinated in hot water for six hours."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

La Table

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

View to the Future

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"