Gastroenterologists T-Shirts

"I'm afraid that your irritable bowel syndrome has progressed. You now have furious and vindictive bowel syndrome."

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Robotic Man

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

A day at the transgenic races

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"How's the salmon?"

"Please don't kill me."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Happy hour.

"I'm unable to process this image."

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'