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Gastrique Bypass

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"Please don't kill me."

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

Culinary surgery.

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

DNA doctor

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."